Our Core Values and Core Beliefs play a major role in where we are in life today.
Our Core Values are things in life that are important to us, in which we put in a lot of time and efforts to obtain them.
For example: If you’re putting in a lot of time and efforts into furthering your career, then career is your top core value today.
If you’re a woman and you’re spending a lot of time and efforts on dating apps looking for a man that is a marriage material, then your top core value is marriage.
As we go through life, our core values change based on our circumstances. For example, career may be your top core value for today and later in the future, family and having children will become your top core value.
Here are my current top ten core values:
I cannot function in any hostile environment or situation. I cannot stay in any relationship where my better half has any of the characteristics of being high-handed, hostile and impulsive.
- Physical and Mental Health
In today’s economical environment, when some people are worried about not being able to keep a roof over their head, it is easy to loose track of our health, like eating bad snacks to make us forget about our current situations, but if we don’t have our physical and mental health, it will be difficult for us to keep up with our other core values, so I try my best to stay healthy so I can care for my son which is my next core value.
- My Son
I realized that the time that I spend with my son is very precious, no money, power or wealth in the world can bring back those lost precious time.
- Family and Friends
I’m fortunate to have good friends and family members who have been there for me through thick and thin and I never forget that.
- Financial Security
I don’t need to be rich, I just need to have enough passive income that can allow me have a home for me and my son, cover my monthly expenses and allow a bit of savings in case of an emergency situation.
Being honest to myself and everyone that I meet is very important to me.
- Empathy, Kindness and Altruism
Empathy, Kindness and Altruism creates joy and harmony in the world. I want to continue focusing on improving my own empathy levels, kindness and altruism and provide awareness to others on important of such human qualities.
- Independents and Freedom
I would hope to be in a place in life where I can be in control of my destiny and could reach my purpose in life.
Conformity and being part of a nice group of people brings me harmony and helps me function better.
- Easygoing and Simplicity
This is my reiteration and emphasis on living a simple, less complicated / less stressful life.
Figuring out your core values and core beliefs is an important step into self awareness and better life. It also helps you pick a life partner that match you the best.
Here are some example on how to figure out your own core values and core beliefs:
- If you say that having a family is important to you, but you’re putting a lot of efforts and time in excelling your career, then at the time that you’re chasing your career, career is more important to you than having a family.
- If you say that financial security is important to you, but you spend quite a bit of time on social media or watching TV, then leisure is more important to you than having financial security.
- If you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, blissfully, but you’re mostly looking for someone with the most physical attraction, then unknowingly, you’re chasing instant gratification.
I said you “unknowingly” selected instant gratification instead of spending blissful life with someone, because you have been brainwashed by the society and Hollywood and have developed a false Core Belief that being with someone that is physically attractive is going to provide you with the best sex and a blissful life; that belief is mostly false.
The above example about the false belief brings us to the topic of Core Beliefs.
Our Core Beliefs are the beliefs that we have developed based on how we were raised, the experiences we have had in life, and being brainwashed by the media, society and the Hollywood.
Our Core beliefs are also play an important roles in our decision making and therefore where we are in life today.
Here I describe how your Core Beliefs can be a determining factor on your situation in life by providing a couple of stories:
Tina had a difficult childhood, she remembers her father being very hostile and abusive to her since she was as young as three, so this initial abusive relationship that Tina had with her father caused her to develop a false belief that most men are untrustworthy and bad. Tina met her first long-term boyfriend, Chris, at age 22, but her distrust of men caused her not to make a connection with Chris, and she was not seeing Chris as a friend and she developed the habit to become hostile to Chris over minute things. Chris on the other hand had “Peace” as his top Core Values, (most men have Peace at their top Core Values, but they have a hard time describing it, they usually say “I’m looking for a nice girl”, what they really mean is that they want to be with someone who allow them to have their peace.)
At any rate, Tina’s relationship with Chris ended within five years. Tina carried her false belief of “men being untrustworthy and bad” to all her relationships and acted based on her false belief and all her relationships ended within 3-5 years.
Tina was 45 and single and all of her relationships ended based on hostility, so one of Tina’s Core Belief played a major role in Tina’s failure in all her relationships.
So, it is very clear that our Core Values and Core Beliefs play an important role in where we are today in life.
So, it is very important that we assess ourselves, by:
- Assessing and discovering our top Core Values and deciding on what is really important to us in life and directing our actions to achieve our top Core Values.
- Evaluating our Core Beliefs and work on eliminating the false Core Beliefs that can hinder and prevent us from achieving success in what is really important to us.