So you go out to watch a chick flick movie with a friend, but that friend is just a friend. At the theater you see a lot of young happy couples, hugging and holding hands, everyone seems to be in love, you feel a bid jealous and yearn for being with that special one who you can fall in love with and have a wonderful life.
You sit at the theater and watch a story of two young strangers, a tall, handsome and confident man and a gorgeous, attractive and sweet woman; they somehow cross each other’s paths; then somehow one saves the other; fall in love and get married and live a blissful life full of joy forever.
You may have not realized it, but you just got brainwashed by Hollywood and environment around you, you established a false belief that if you find a tall and handsome man, or if you find a beautiful and attractive woman, you will live in love and a blissful life forever.
That one thing that has a significant effect on where you are in your life today is your beliefs.
The beliefs that you’re living with today could be false for the most part, and those beliefs influence your thoughts and your efforts in life and the results of your efforts and actions.
Your beliefs are developed based on:
- Your past experiences in life.
- What you have been taught by your parents when you were a child
- What you observe from your environment, family and friends, society in general, social media, TV, news, movies, etc..
In this case when you were at the theater, you were influenced by the movie you watched and the people who you observed. The problem is that the movie is just a fiction and the people are just showing a public persona that may be completely different than their private lives behind their closed doors.
This also commonly happens in social media, you see people that seems to be so happy from outside, but you have not seen that person behind the closed doors.
So, when most men are out there looking for that perfect woman, in their false belief, if that woman is young and attractive, she will make a perfect sweet wife.
The same goes with women who are out there seeking that tall, handsome and confident man, in their false belief, if a man is tall and handsome, he will be a perfect man for her, he will love her and give her joy forever.
Another example of a false belief that actually came true
(In this story I use a fictitious name to hide her real name).
Ivy had lived through an abusive childhood; her father was abusive to her and she visited her grandmother to get away from her father.
To make things worse, Ivy’s grandmother was very resentful toward her ex-husband because he had abandoned her family, so Ivy’s grandmother kept reminding Ivy that most men are bad and they will abandoned their wives for another woman.
Ivy had developed this belief starting at her childhood that most men are bad and will eventually abandoned their wives.
Ivy’s belief became a reality not because that is what she was seeking, but because of the false belief that she had developed throughout the years.
Because of her false belief Ivy did not trust men and perceive men as a bad being, when Ivy was in a relationship, she treated her boyfriend very badly, with hostility as if she was trying to get back at her abusive father, so her relationship did not last and her belief became stronger thinking that men are bad, so the same habits and the same cycle of bad relationships continued.
Ivy acted based on her belief that most men are bad and her belief became a reality not because most men are bad, but because her behavior caused men to leave her.
In order for us not to fall for beliefs that ends up effecting our lives negatively, we should try to do some self assessment and evaluate our beliefs. If we had some experiences in life that had caused us to developed a certain beliefs, we should revisit those beliefs to make sure they are based on logic and not emotion.
If you’re generalizing an idea based on the experience you have had in life or what you were told by a friend or a family member or what you constantly observing on social media or other online media channels, rethink that notion or belief that you have developed.
If you just went through a bad breakup, rethink the negative thoughts that you have developed regarding your ex and avoid generalizing that everyone who fits your ex’s class or gender is going to have similar characteristics as your ex. If you have such a belief, that false belief was developed based on the experiences relating to the emotional pain that have caused due to your break up and not based on logic.
If you have been rejected a few times by attractive women, do not assume most attractive women will reject you.
If you have been told that you cannot achieve your dreams because you don’t have what it takes, think again, don’t let what others make you believe stopping you from reaching your dreams.